Why Are Teens Leaving the Faith?

Growing up under the watchful eye of his parents, Eric* loved going to church. Like most kids, he loved the songs, his teachers, and playing with his friends. But even for a kid, church wasn't just a social thing for Eric. He could clearly remember the summer of third grade during Vacation Bible School when he gave his whole heart to Jesus. He was baptized shortly after.

For Eric, Jesus and the Bible weren't things you had to figure out or question. He had a child-like faith. He knew Jesus loved him and would walk with him throughout his life. The Bible was the moral compass by which he would live his life.
A few years later as Eric hit adolescence, his parents thought he would continue to grow in the faith of his childhood. He would discover even more deeply just how Jesus could make a difference to him in his high school years. He would see how his faith would define him.
But that's not what happened.

No fairy-tale ending

In the car on the way home from church one Sunday, Eric blurted out, "Why do we think we are right and everybody else is wrong about how to get to Heaven?" Over the coming weeks his questions turned to, "Is it fair that God would send everyone else to hell just because they don't know Jesus?" and "How do we know the Bible is real?" Pretty soon Eric didn't want to talk much on the way home from church and seemed agitated whenever anyone else would bring up faith in daily conversation.
It all came to a head when his parents asked him about his plans for the youth group's summer camp. Eric nonchalantly announced, "Mom, Dad, I think that stuff like church and Jesus is fine for you, but I'm just not sure if I believe all that anymore."

Discovery of self in Christ

Adolescence is the phase of life in which everything seems up for grabs. Teens discover new friendships, try out new interests, and develop new beliefs about everything from family to faith. For most, it's perfectly natural to gravitate toward a new passion one day but then drop a lifelong interest almost overnight.
A teen's faith is a big part in the puzzle of discovering his or her newly developing identity. Many parents struggle watching the forward-backward see-saw development of a teen's faith. For many teens, this journey of identity will result in a deeper faith. Except when it doesn't.

Why kids leave

Several studies have been conducted to answer that important question-why are they leaving? The results can be found in book such as "Sticky Faith," "Soul Searching," "Generation X-Christian," and "Almost Christian." All of them conclude that there is no one answer for a teen's exodus from the faith community. At the same time, the books cite similar reasons why some young adults walk away.

1. Shallow belief system

In her book "Almost Christian," Kenda Creasy Dean explains that many times, the Church offers nothing more than a "Moralistic Therapeutic Deism." In short, we've taught teens that there is a disinterested divine power who wants to give them personal peace and prosperity and to help teens "be nice." The result is a faith that cannot withstand the scrutiny of trials or intellectual questions. Parents and mentors have given teens an anemic sketch of faith at best. A robust faith is replaced by a code of conduct-we "do" these things (read our Bibles, pray, and go to church) and "don't" do those (watch wrong movies, cuss, drink or have sex). Conduct replaces relationship with Christ.

2. No room for doubt

Those who leave the faith sometimes do so because they had questions and the church didn't help answer them. In some cases, their questions were ignored. In others, doubt was considered a sin to be squelched quickly. Their questions varied from "Why do bad things happen to good people?" (intellectual doubt) to "If God cared about me, then I wouldn't feel so (depressed, sad, lonely, etc.)" (emotional doubt) to "Why do Christians not believe in evolution?" "Why does the Bible contradict itself?" to "Why didn't God answer my prayer for my parents not to divorce?" (experiential doubt). These are the types of questions the intellectual doubter needs to answer. Unfortunately, many times they either get poor answers from Christians or bad answers (which can sound convincing) from outside the Christian faith.

3. Exclusive faith

Scripture makes no apologies for the centrality of Christ. Those who turn to Christ in faith are saved. Those who do not are condemned to hell. In a culture that lauds tolerance, acceptance, and open-mindedness, claiming Christ as the only Way (John 14:6) is a hard truth to swallow. Unfortunately, many well-meaning believers twist this truth into a club to verbally (and physically) bash those with viewpoints different than theirs. Unfortunately, Christianity is often equated with bigotry, racism, homophobia, and sexism. Today's generation wants nothing to do with that brand of faith.

4. No answers for opposition

Today's teens are bombarded with philosophical and scientific oppositions to Christian beliefs. In science class, the teacher rails against anyone who believes in creation; the philosophy professor tells a freshman class to "prove the existence of God." Most Christians are completely unprepared to provide logical, coherent, well-examined reasons for their belief in Christianity. When faced with opposition, these teens find that the answer is simple: you can't be a Christian and an intellectual. Faith and science are incompatible.

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