Wednesday, August 19, 2009

How Swearing At Or Around A Child Is Abuse Posted August 17, 2009

By: Miranda Caverley

Over the past month I have heard people talk about children getting ready to start kindergarten this fall and how worried they are about them. Why? Because, these children have been exposed to their parents constantly swearing at them or around them. These children due to this exposure to swearing only know how to use this kind of language to express themselves and communicate with others. The kind of language that comes from the mouths of these little ones is so horrendous that even their parents (who use that kind of language at them) are embarrassed when they say those kinds of words in public towards strangers. For Example….

I was visiting my neighbors a few days ago and they started talking about this little boy who started kindergarten a week or so ago. All his life his parents have swore and use the most horrible language around him. She said that because of this, that is the only vocabulary the little boy knows and practically every sentence is filled with obscenities. Two days after starting Kindergarten the little boy got into an argument with another child and cussed the other child out. The little boy was then sent to the principles office for punishment. When the little boy came into the principles office the Principle looked at the little boy and said, “You and I are going to become good friends.” Another time the parents took the little boy through the drive thru of a restaurant. While sitting at the window waiting on their food the little boy yelled out the window of the vehicle and called the Manager of the restaurant an obscenity. The mother of the little boy was so embarrassed that she drove away without their food.

If I was that little boy I would be so confused. Because, that would be all I knew how to say to express myself and then I am being punished for it. I go home after being punished at school for saying those words and my parents are using those same words, and aren’t being sent to the principles office and being punished.

How do children learn morals and how to socialize respectfully with others if their own parents won’t teach them the skills they need?

Other times I hear people say, “Oh I just worry about when “so and so” is going to start school with the kind of language he uses.”

I have even watched first hand as a woman called her 3 year old little girl “obscenity” ugly, and stupid. Why? Because, the little girl had cut her hair, and her hair had to be cut short because of it. The woman continued to yell at the little girl and call her names. The little girl started to walk away from the mother and go back home as the mother continued to yell at her. This incident happened while I was visiting a friend of mine. We were standing outside of her house and the woman who was a neighbor came over. My friend told me after the woman left that she is a possible drug user, alcoholic and is always causing trouble in the neighborhood.

Everyone standing there hearing her say those words to that little girl were in shock. Why didn’t I say anything to the woman? Honestly I was so shocked at what I was hearing that by the time I regained my composure and was ready to say something she had already walked away. That was the first time I’d ever seen or heard someone do that to a child in the presence of complete strangers. I will say this if I see this woman again and she repeats this scene I will be sure to speak up and tell her to stop. Then I will find try to find out where she lives and call the police to try and have them do an investigation on her.

If you are still not convinced that this is abuse, here is an article I found. Telling parents to stop swearing at their children

Quotes from the article Stop Swearing In front Of Kids

The study was carried out by research site showed that 3000 of 11 year olds started using swear words at an earlier age as they were exposed to it by their parents. More than one in three have asked their parents to stop swearing and half admitting it upset them.

We need parents to be the ones to put their children right before they ever get to school with "please" and "thank yous", rather than leaving it to teachers, the Telegraph quoted Peter Foot, chairman of the Campaign for Courtesy, as saying.

"But this is awful, appalling really. There are some age groups now who can't say a single sentence without the F-word in it," he added. A spokesman for research site, which conducted the study, said: "When youngsters hear their parents use swear words so frequently, it's inevitable that they will pick up bad habits.

"Parents should be aware that children are easily influence and will try to replicate what they say whether it's swear words or not.”When adults hear a young child swear it's very easy to find it humorous, yet any use of bad language should be nipped in the bud at an early age."

After finding this article in a search I looked through all of the other articles the search pulled up about swearing. I came across the below article “Why Do We Swear” written by a psychologist who says that swearing is good for you!

Why we Swear From a psychological view from the article “Why do we swear?” by John M Grohol PsyD

Swearing is beneficial in ways that people may underestimate or take for granted. Swearing is often cathartic — it often frees us of the feelings of anger or frustration we hold and allows expression for them. It can also be a useful substitute to physical violence (who would rather be punched out than to withstand being sworn at?).

Swear words can also be used in a more positive manner, in the form of jokes and humor, sex talk, storytelling, self-deprecation or even social commentary.

Swearing is a natural part of human speech development. We learn which words are taboos and which words are not through our normal childhood development. We also learn that not all swear words are equal.

When I finished reading this article I wanted to know what the bible says about the effects of what comes out of our mouth.

Psalm 52:4
You love every harmful word, O you deceitful tongue!

Psalm 64:3
They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows.

Proverbs 10:31
The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out.

James 3:5
Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

James 3:8
but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

After reading the article “Why Do We Swear?” I was shocked that they were actually saying swearing is good for you! It only proves to me that Swearing is a selfish act that only benefits the person using those kinds of words. The article never states that swearing is good for those being exposed to it or being sworn at. The psychologist only states his findings benefit the person using the language.

What I thought was comical was how they stated swearing is a substitute for violence, and I quote “who would rather be punched out than withstand being sworn at?” To me swearing is like being beaten physically but you have the bruises on you mental and emotional state and that takes longer to heal than a few bruises you might get in a physical altercation.

Even The bible clearly says that our tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. Poison has been proven to kill people. When the bible compares evil words as poison don’t you think using these words would have the same effect?

So what it comes down to is this….

1. Swearing first and foremost is a SIN!

2. Swearing is a form of abuse on anyone who is exposed to it especially children

3. Swearing only benefits the person using those words to empower them

4. Swearing is only used to intimidate others and empower the person using those words

The next time when you may want to use a swear word at someone or around a child, think about the effects those words might have on them in the long run.

Other words to call swear words




Bad Language

Foul Language

Adult Language

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