Friday, September 28, 2012

FIRST-PERSON: Confronting the scourge of pornography

WASHINGTON (BP) -- The pornography industry has had another STD scare in its ranks. No one should be surprised. Its mistreatment of the human body and complete disregard for human dignity is bound to lead to the destruction of those who engage in it.

But pornography destroys not only those who engage in making it. It also destroys those who view it. While men and women are attracted to pornography for different reasons, the impact is devastating. Pornography introduces women to a fantasy world of false relationships that substitute for the real thing. It enables men to imagine sexual relationships without responsibility. For both, the result is isolation from members of the opposite sex and the loss of relationships that give meaning to life.

Pornography also devastates marriages. The loss of genuine intimacy is one of the leading causes of marital problems, including divorce. Women who discover their husbands are viewing pornography feel a deep sense of betrayal and insecurity. Their feelings of betrayal arise from the knowledge that their husbands are actually fantasizing about other women while they are engaged in acts of intimacy with them. They are insecure because they believe they are no longer personally appealing enough to their husbands.

Men who discover their wives are viewing pornography feel a deep sense of betrayal and isolation. They believe their wives are engaged in the equivalent of affairs with other men. This can lead to a sense of insecurity as they believe that they have failed to keep their wives' interest. It also results in greater isolation in the marriage as the wife looks to others for emotional engagement and interaction.

Some advocate viewing pornography as a way to enhance the physical experience between couples. This is outrageous. Couples aroused by viewing pornography end up using each other as a means of self-gratification. God intended the sexual relationship to be an act of selfless giving, where the partners are focused on satisfying the needs of each other. In God's design for sex, personal satisfaction results but it occurs within the context of mutual giving. Pornography reverses this and makes the desires of each person the central focus and the satisfaction of the partner a byproduct.

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